Some belated thoughts on turning 30

I am a late bloomer. Always have been, always will be. And so, it is exciting to me that I am finally turning 30. To think, all the things I have yet to do, and how much better they will be now that I am not such a stupid, naive and unprepared 20 year-old!

Ha, yeah right.

When it comes down to it, I am still 15 years-old: I spend my days convinced everyone is looking at the zit on my chin, I wonder when my body is ever going to look like I want it to look and I can't wait to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. The only difference now is that I am armed with better friends, wine and a superior ability to rationalize.

The bottom line is, I don't feel older (and thanks to my mom's genes, I don't look any older) and I wouldn't return to my twenties for all the money in the world (unless I could return to my younger self to pry the bread from her hands and give her a good slap regarding all things related to ex-boyfriends).

Of course, I miss the fleeting wonder of my ass at 19 years-old, but I'm so much happier now, knowing myself better, knowing what I want and need and just not giving a shit what others think.

I also find it interesting that I've spent this last year traveling. Normally, taking a year-off to travel is done after college and I met a lot of people in their earlier twenties, or the infamous gap-year kids ruining the British reputation the world over. Personally, I couldn't have done this journey any earlier and certainly wouldn't have been able to appreciate it like I have. I learned all the same things I would have learned - how to adapt to change, problem solving, language skills and in general who I am - but this time, I think the learning experience was a little bit more profound. I know who I am and more importantly, I know who I will never be. It's a whole lot easier to work on being a better person in the areas you know you can change than wasting your time wanting to be something you cannot. I can't kid myself that I will ever figure it all out, I hope I don't. It's just too much fun learning.

So, I'm a little bit wiser and my ass is a little bit wider and softer (but I care less, so it's a bit of a wash). I can't deny the importance of my twenties, I have them to thank for all those "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" moments that have brought me here today. But I happily say goodbye to them and I hope the door doesn't hit their ass on the way out.